Recently, the UCI announced that they would be cracking down on the aerodynamic position known as the Supertuck. Apparently, the position has been deemed just too dangerous for competition, and the UCI has banned the use of the supertuck in racing. Complete with fine of up to a 1,000 CHF (~$1,070 USD) and docking riders 25 UCI ranking points.
Bummed that your chance to string out that solo breakaway has been dashed by some UCI red tape? Don’t worry, Easton Cycling is here to help with their STFF – the Supertuck Fine Fund.
At Easton Cycling we believe in the freedom to go fast and ride your bike the way you want. While we applaud rules that improve the safety of riders, we also believe that developing advanced descending skills is a true artform.
If you have the skills, equipment, and confidence to supertuck we have your back when the longarm of the law comes knocking. The Easton Supertuck Fine Fund exists to cover your in-race supertuck fines as they are handed down from our Swiss overlords.
To have fines covered, you must fax documentation of race registration, your bib or number plates, a copy of the infraction and fine itself, your current exchange rate to Swiss Francs, a photograph of the infraction in question showing you doing the supertuck in a solo breakaway with at least a 90” lead on the chase group, a copy of your Strava file (printed), a comparative analysis of aerodynamic benefit of your Supertuck versus your standard tuck, and clear documentation of (at least) second level certification in Supertuck via an established Supertuck instructor to 1-937-356-5464.
Upon receipt of your complete documents, we will invest the total amount of your fine in current fad cryptocurrencies and provide you with an intended payment plan with full payout in 2031, though you may be asked to hold the line by members of Reddit. If you prefer, we can also mail you a road specific dropper post and charge the difference to a credit card of your choice.
Together we can make the tuck super again.
Photos provided by @Photo.Pace contributors @DirtDrops @gene_torno @kylethornhill as well as our own @ridegradient
**In case you haven’t determined it yet, this is an April Fools joke. Please do not expect Easton Cycling to pay your Supertuck fines. Hopefully your race winnings can cover those for you.**